Valentine's Day...February 14...
This day has long been the day when we are "supposed" to show our love for our sweetheart. We shower them with expensive cards, candy, maybe flowers or jewelry. Maybe we go out for a special dinner. Maybe we cook them a special dinner. Maybe, we even get all dressed up for the event. Because, we love them!
I don't have a problem with any of this but my question is...What about the other 364 days of the year? Don't we love them just as much on all of those days? Shouldn't we show them just as much love on those days? Shouldn't we show them how much we love them in small ways EVERY day?
My husband and I used to celebrate Valentine's Day just like everyone else. Flowers for me. Heart shaped chocolate chip cookies for him. Cheesy cards. You know, the same old thing everyone does every year. Then one year, hubby didn't want to participate anymore. He said it was a "Hallmark Holiday." I continued to buy things for him for this "lovers holiday" for several years and then I stopped. It wasn't something I did conscientiously, it just happened.
Does this mean we don't love each other? No! Absolutely not! We show our love in so many other ways EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! From the good-bye kiss he wakes me to give me before he leaves for work to the I love you every time we talk or text. So many different ways.
We have been studying the Spiritual gifts of the Bible at our church and if you look in 1 Cor. 13 you will see what is commonly called by many, The Love Chapter. The gifts are listed there and at the end of that section the verse says "and now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love!" This verse is not just talking about love between a husband and wife or sweethearts on one day of the year. It is a great deal bigger than that.
We are called to love...Jesus commanded us to love ... our neighbor, our self, our enemy. Love is not something you DO. Love is an action! It's an ongoing event! As our pastor said this past Sunday, I love my wife but I also love pizza! I love my husband but I also love caramel! Love is not a one time thing that you do. So, why would we only share love on a holiday that lasts just one day!
Have you smiled at someone today? That's sharing love! Have you said hello to someone you didn't know? That's sharing love! You get the picture? When is the last time you did something for someone, just because you wanted to? That's love. When is the last time you paid for someone's meal anonymously? That's love too!
We have so many opportunities to share love. Don't just save it for one day of the year! Go out there and love on someone today...and tomorrow...and the next...and the next...
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Thursday, January 3, 2019
The Many Faces of ... Me
There are many faces of each person walking this earth. We are individual and different and yet, in a lot of ways, we are the same. I can look at my oldest daughter and see almost a mirror image of myself. I can look at my youngest daughter and see a great deal of her father. Funny how that works. Today though, I want to talk about one face of me in particular. The face of a person suffering with Fibromyalgia.
I was diagnosed with fibro about 16 years ago. I didn't know a thing about it except for the information my family doctor gave me - "it is inflammation and there is no cure. You have a terminal illness!" Those were his exact words. Then he said, "we don't know enough about this disease for me to tell you what to expect or even to know how to treat it. I'll give you a prescription for anti-depressants and a muscle relaxer. You will need to figure out how to deal with it from there." Well, thanks a lot! I am not depressed. Never have been, to my knowledge. The muscle relaxers knock me out for 8-10 hours and he wrote the script for 3 times a day! I only took those when I was in so much pain I just couldn't function anymore. I don't take them at all anymore just because I felt like I had a hangover the day after taking one. Even though I slept really well for 10 hours the night before.
So, in case you are reading this and think (like so many others) that fibromyalgia is a "fake" disease, let me assure you, there is nothing fake about this. Let me explain a few of the symptoms I live with on a daily basis. Some are ongoing and some are not. But before I start that, let me just say, not everyone with fibro has the same symptoms as I do. As a matter of fact, from all the research I've done and all the materials I've read, there are hundreds of symptoms and no two people have all the same ones. Probably why they just don't know exactly how to treat it.
For me, the symptoms are varied. I have some pain somewhere on a daily basis. Not always bad pain, but pain just the same. I have bouts of IBS that sometimes just start out of the blue. It's embarrassing to have to call and cancel plans because you can't stay out of the bathroom or you're afraid to leave the house because of the same reason! I have places on my body that get extremely tender to the touch. So if you come up to me to give me a hug, don't be offended if I cringe a little. It's not you, I'm just having a sensitive day. I have super sensitivity to light, sound and smells. All of which can cause migraines. Fortunately, I have found Frankinsense helps with the migraines. I tend to have the most pain from the waist down. Hip joints, knees, feet are most prone to pain. I also have Osteoarthritis in those joints as well as my hands. I have balance issues. So if you see me walking and weaving, I haven't been drinking it's just part of my life. I have something called costochrondritis (not sure if that is spelled right) which my doctor called "phantom chest wall pain" and it feels like a heart attack. I have sleep apnea and use a c-pap machine every night so I don't stop breathing while I sleep. I have some anxiety issues that flare their ugly head every once in a while.
So, with all of that, you might ask how do I treat it. Well, I have to make sure I get plenty of rest - at least 8 hours every night. I try to exercise, but some times that is impossible. I try to eat the way I should and I do well with that most of the time. I have to keep my stress levels to a minimum which can be difficult at times. Mostly, I have learned (as has my family) when I have done too much and pushed to far. When that happens, we all know it and feel it. I don't take any medications, at this time, because I just don't like how I feel when taking them. I am learning to use essential oils in place of man made chemicals, and they seem to be helping.
Without going into way more detail, I'll just say this. Please don't feel sorry for me because I have fibro. Don't treat me differently. If you are reading this and have questions, please feel free to ask. I'll answer to the best of my ability. And by all means, if you have a loved one diagnosed with this disease, 1. be understanding, 2. read everything you can get your hands on about the disease, and 3. be an advocate for that family member. There are so many people out there who have this disease a lot worse than me. We need to learn more about it and we need to understand each other.
I am not sharing this because I want people to feel sorry for me. I share because it's a part of who I am. It does not define me as a person but it is a real part of my every day life. I also know that God is my strength and He gives me what I need on a daily basis. I know as long as I lean on Him, I will never be left disappointed or alone!
Blessings!
I was diagnosed with fibro about 16 years ago. I didn't know a thing about it except for the information my family doctor gave me - "it is inflammation and there is no cure. You have a terminal illness!" Those were his exact words. Then he said, "we don't know enough about this disease for me to tell you what to expect or even to know how to treat it. I'll give you a prescription for anti-depressants and a muscle relaxer. You will need to figure out how to deal with it from there." Well, thanks a lot! I am not depressed. Never have been, to my knowledge. The muscle relaxers knock me out for 8-10 hours and he wrote the script for 3 times a day! I only took those when I was in so much pain I just couldn't function anymore. I don't take them at all anymore just because I felt like I had a hangover the day after taking one. Even though I slept really well for 10 hours the night before.
So, in case you are reading this and think (like so many others) that fibromyalgia is a "fake" disease, let me assure you, there is nothing fake about this. Let me explain a few of the symptoms I live with on a daily basis. Some are ongoing and some are not. But before I start that, let me just say, not everyone with fibro has the same symptoms as I do. As a matter of fact, from all the research I've done and all the materials I've read, there are hundreds of symptoms and no two people have all the same ones. Probably why they just don't know exactly how to treat it.
For me, the symptoms are varied. I have some pain somewhere on a daily basis. Not always bad pain, but pain just the same. I have bouts of IBS that sometimes just start out of the blue. It's embarrassing to have to call and cancel plans because you can't stay out of the bathroom or you're afraid to leave the house because of the same reason! I have places on my body that get extremely tender to the touch. So if you come up to me to give me a hug, don't be offended if I cringe a little. It's not you, I'm just having a sensitive day. I have super sensitivity to light, sound and smells. All of which can cause migraines. Fortunately, I have found Frankinsense helps with the migraines. I tend to have the most pain from the waist down. Hip joints, knees, feet are most prone to pain. I also have Osteoarthritis in those joints as well as my hands. I have balance issues. So if you see me walking and weaving, I haven't been drinking it's just part of my life. I have something called costochrondritis (not sure if that is spelled right) which my doctor called "phantom chest wall pain" and it feels like a heart attack. I have sleep apnea and use a c-pap machine every night so I don't stop breathing while I sleep. I have some anxiety issues that flare their ugly head every once in a while.
So, with all of that, you might ask how do I treat it. Well, I have to make sure I get plenty of rest - at least 8 hours every night. I try to exercise, but some times that is impossible. I try to eat the way I should and I do well with that most of the time. I have to keep my stress levels to a minimum which can be difficult at times. Mostly, I have learned (as has my family) when I have done too much and pushed to far. When that happens, we all know it and feel it. I don't take any medications, at this time, because I just don't like how I feel when taking them. I am learning to use essential oils in place of man made chemicals, and they seem to be helping.
Without going into way more detail, I'll just say this. Please don't feel sorry for me because I have fibro. Don't treat me differently. If you are reading this and have questions, please feel free to ask. I'll answer to the best of my ability. And by all means, if you have a loved one diagnosed with this disease, 1. be understanding, 2. read everything you can get your hands on about the disease, and 3. be an advocate for that family member. There are so many people out there who have this disease a lot worse than me. We need to learn more about it and we need to understand each other.
I am not sharing this because I want people to feel sorry for me. I share because it's a part of who I am. It does not define me as a person but it is a real part of my every day life. I also know that God is my strength and He gives me what I need on a daily basis. I know as long as I lean on Him, I will never be left disappointed or alone!
Blessings!
Friday, November 18, 2016
Dreams Come True
Yesterday, November 17, we were handed the keys to our brand new house! We have dreamed of building our dream house for like 30 years and this year, God made it happen!
Let me start at the beginning. Three years ago we started looking for land to build on. Not a lot of land, but 2-3 acres. In September of 2015, I was on realtor.com and found a brand new listing for 2 acres in Xenia (a rural area about 10 miles from where we lived). I contacted the listing agent and we went to see it. She informed us that she had only listed the property 2 weeks prior and hadn't even put a sign out yet. We loved it! We made an offer (the sellers were the realtors' parents) the sellers countered, we countered and they accepted!
We had already been talking on a builder and we're pretty set on the house we wanted to build. One day I was driving home from the property and clearly heard God tell me to stop at the builder in Xenia that we ultimately went with. These guys are two brothers who are strong Christian men. They have been in the business for a very long time and took over the business from their Dad.
We were diligently working to get our house ready to put on the market in April. This is the house my parents bought when we first moved here from GA in 1976. We bought it from them in November of 1991 and raised our girls there. Our neighbors told friends about us getting the house ready to sell and they wanted to come see it. This sweet young Christian couple came, saw our house, fell in love with it and made us an offer for full asking price, even though we had 3 projects going on at the time. We closed at the time in April that we had actually planned to list it.
We broke ground on June 23 and our house was completed on November 16! God provided us with so many discounts for our house! From appliances that were basically half price to asphalt that was leftover from another job and was a third the cost of the other quotes we had received to a fence that was half what the other quotes were!
God has blessed us so much through this whole process and we love the way our house turned out! We will use this house for His kingdom work and for His glory! How could we not? He has made our dream come true!
Blessings to all! We hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and get to spend time with your family and friends!
Let me start at the beginning. Three years ago we started looking for land to build on. Not a lot of land, but 2-3 acres. In September of 2015, I was on realtor.com and found a brand new listing for 2 acres in Xenia (a rural area about 10 miles from where we lived). I contacted the listing agent and we went to see it. She informed us that she had only listed the property 2 weeks prior and hadn't even put a sign out yet. We loved it! We made an offer (the sellers were the realtors' parents) the sellers countered, we countered and they accepted!
We had already been talking on a builder and we're pretty set on the house we wanted to build. One day I was driving home from the property and clearly heard God tell me to stop at the builder in Xenia that we ultimately went with. These guys are two brothers who are strong Christian men. They have been in the business for a very long time and took over the business from their Dad.
We were diligently working to get our house ready to put on the market in April. This is the house my parents bought when we first moved here from GA in 1976. We bought it from them in November of 1991 and raised our girls there. Our neighbors told friends about us getting the house ready to sell and they wanted to come see it. This sweet young Christian couple came, saw our house, fell in love with it and made us an offer for full asking price, even though we had 3 projects going on at the time. We closed at the time in April that we had actually planned to list it.
We broke ground on June 23 and our house was completed on November 16! God provided us with so many discounts for our house! From appliances that were basically half price to asphalt that was leftover from another job and was a third the cost of the other quotes we had received to a fence that was half what the other quotes were!
God has blessed us so much through this whole process and we love the way our house turned out! We will use this house for His kingdom work and for His glory! How could we not? He has made our dream come true!
Blessings to all! We hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and get to spend time with your family and friends!
Friday, April 8, 2016
Bittersweet Memories
For the last month or so we have been overwhelmed! Overwhelmed in good ways...mostly. God sent a sweet couple to buy our house before it was even listed. Just another confirmation that we are suposed to build our dream/forever home in Xenia.
Let me back up a little. I had been looking for a single story house for us for the past two years. And even looked for land to buy but just never could find the right place at the right price. In mid-September of 2015 I was on realtor.com one day and found a listing for two acres. The realtor had just listed it and had not even placed signs on it yet to advertise it was for sale. We ended up buying it for what we've been told was a steal.
On a whim one day after I drove out to see the land again, cause I still couldn't believe it was now ours, I stopped in to a local builder's office in Xenia to ask some questions and our journey began. We now have plans picked out and have made changes to make it our own.
Now, back to our current house. Our neighbors told friends our house would be going on the market in April. They ended up going through it and after getting a contract on their house, are now buying ours. Another generation of Christians will get to share the love of our Father in this house! Isn't that awesome?
The bittersweet part is that I have been spending time in this house since my parents bought it and moved here in August 1976. My sweet hubby and I bought it in November 1991 so my parents could live their dream of moving back to Georgia to build their dream home.
When Terry and I bought this house we dedicated it to God to be used however He saw fit. We've had Bible studies here, housed travelling missionaries, youth group events. Even led both of our daughters to the Lord here.
Terry and I spent much of our dating life in this house. Some nights that consisted of me getting out of bed, getting dressed and meeting him to come in and sit on the stairs to talk about each other's day for 20-30 minutes before he would leave to go home.
So many memories! So much fun and yes, some sad times as well. God has blessed us richly and as we move on to this next season in our lives, we will praise Him and serve Him in whatever He calls us to. Our next house will be dedicated to Him as well! I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!
Let me back up a little. I had been looking for a single story house for us for the past two years. And even looked for land to buy but just never could find the right place at the right price. In mid-September of 2015 I was on realtor.com one day and found a listing for two acres. The realtor had just listed it and had not even placed signs on it yet to advertise it was for sale. We ended up buying it for what we've been told was a steal.
On a whim one day after I drove out to see the land again, cause I still couldn't believe it was now ours, I stopped in to a local builder's office in Xenia to ask some questions and our journey began. We now have plans picked out and have made changes to make it our own.
Now, back to our current house. Our neighbors told friends our house would be going on the market in April. They ended up going through it and after getting a contract on their house, are now buying ours. Another generation of Christians will get to share the love of our Father in this house! Isn't that awesome?
The bittersweet part is that I have been spending time in this house since my parents bought it and moved here in August 1976. My sweet hubby and I bought it in November 1991 so my parents could live their dream of moving back to Georgia to build their dream home.
When Terry and I bought this house we dedicated it to God to be used however He saw fit. We've had Bible studies here, housed travelling missionaries, youth group events. Even led both of our daughters to the Lord here.
Terry and I spent much of our dating life in this house. Some nights that consisted of me getting out of bed, getting dressed and meeting him to come in and sit on the stairs to talk about each other's day for 20-30 minutes before he would leave to go home.
So many memories! So much fun and yes, some sad times as well. God has blessed us richly and as we move on to this next season in our lives, we will praise Him and serve Him in whatever He calls us to. Our next house will be dedicated to Him as well! I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Vacancies in my Heart
The last post I placed in this blog was just the beginning of a very long month. We put our beloved dog Luke down on March 1, which ironically was our youngest daughter Sarah's birthday. Luke was her dog growing up and I hated that we had to ruin yet another birthday for her. But we could not stand to see our old friend suffer anymore.
On March 22, I received a call that my sweet Mama in GA was not doing well after what was supposed to be a routine surgery. Mama had already had surgery last June for colon cancer where they removed 1 inch of her colon and said they got it all. A few months later, she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. She seemed to be doing well and came up to Ohio to spend a couple weeks with us before Christmas. Then in January she developed an infection that just would not go away. Surgery was performed on March 19 (just 4 short days after her 74th birthday) and on March 23, she left this life to go to Heaven to be with my Daddy and all of their siblings.
Over the last 10 years I have lost so many loved ones. All of my aunts and uncles (siblings of my parents and some of their spouses) are gone now. Oh, I know I'll see them all one day. But the grief is still there. Some times I'll think of something I want to tell Mama and I'll start to get my phone and remember, I can't call her anymore. Or I'll be cooking something and need to ask her a question, and remember I can't do that anymore. I used to call her every Thursday on my way home from work and we would just talk about whatever. Or I would call and ask about the weather down there. Or tell her something funny one of my kids did or said.
Our relationship wasn't always a good one. I remember when I was a teenager and I felt like Mama was my worst enemy. We would fight about the dumbest things. I took a lot of grief for things my youngest brother actually did and would get spanked for it. Even when I moved 500 miles away from her, we had misunderstandings about how I lived my life. Boy, if I could do those years over again...
As I grew older and moved back closer to where my parents lived, our relationship grew to more of a friendship. We did a lot together. Everything from shopping to ceramics classes. I loved hanging out with her. When my girls came along, she was so proud and spoiled them rotten. She loved her granddaughters and loved having them near her. Especially when both of them decided to go to college down in GA and they had moved back down there by then.
I can't even begin to tell you what all Mama taught me. Everything I know about cooking for one. She would try a new recipe and end up sending it to me. Oh, we disagreed on how to cook a lot of times because she still liked the old Southern way (bacon drippings in vegetables and almost all meat had to be fried) which is ok some of the time but sometimes, you have to change the way you do things in order to be more health conscious. Mama wasn't having any of that. I learned how to speak my piece from her too and boy has that got me into a lot of trouble. I've learned to temper that with a little tact over the years! Daddy taught me to be independent, much to Mama's dislike. But I learned to stand on my own two feet and she loved that. I learned that the pain I went through was twice as painful for her.
My Mama left a legacy of love when she departed this earth. So many of her friends at First Baptist of Cedartown have shown me that. Along with her friends in the Eastern Star and the Women's Missionary Union. Somebody got sick, you could count on Virginia to bake a cake or pie of some kind and take it to them. You're having a dinner at the lodge, yep Virginia could be counted on to make her Blueberry Delight or something extra special and she would be in that kitchen serving too! She touched so many lives by just her smile and her sweet giving spirit. You also knew if you were in big trouble just by looking at her face. She had "that look."
I was fortunate enough to have a three generation picture made with her and my girls while she was here that Christmas of 2012 and I will cherish those fun times forever. Virginia Hardage was a good woman and she was my friend as well as my mother. She has left a vacancy in my heart as big as the Grand Canyon...but I know she is where she wanted to be and I will see her again some day. Knowing those two things helps fill that vacancy...just a little bit.
On March 22, I received a call that my sweet Mama in GA was not doing well after what was supposed to be a routine surgery. Mama had already had surgery last June for colon cancer where they removed 1 inch of her colon and said they got it all. A few months later, she was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. She seemed to be doing well and came up to Ohio to spend a couple weeks with us before Christmas. Then in January she developed an infection that just would not go away. Surgery was performed on March 19 (just 4 short days after her 74th birthday) and on March 23, she left this life to go to Heaven to be with my Daddy and all of their siblings.
Over the last 10 years I have lost so many loved ones. All of my aunts and uncles (siblings of my parents and some of their spouses) are gone now. Oh, I know I'll see them all one day. But the grief is still there. Some times I'll think of something I want to tell Mama and I'll start to get my phone and remember, I can't call her anymore. Or I'll be cooking something and need to ask her a question, and remember I can't do that anymore. I used to call her every Thursday on my way home from work and we would just talk about whatever. Or I would call and ask about the weather down there. Or tell her something funny one of my kids did or said.
Our relationship wasn't always a good one. I remember when I was a teenager and I felt like Mama was my worst enemy. We would fight about the dumbest things. I took a lot of grief for things my youngest brother actually did and would get spanked for it. Even when I moved 500 miles away from her, we had misunderstandings about how I lived my life. Boy, if I could do those years over again...
As I grew older and moved back closer to where my parents lived, our relationship grew to more of a friendship. We did a lot together. Everything from shopping to ceramics classes. I loved hanging out with her. When my girls came along, she was so proud and spoiled them rotten. She loved her granddaughters and loved having them near her. Especially when both of them decided to go to college down in GA and they had moved back down there by then.
I can't even begin to tell you what all Mama taught me. Everything I know about cooking for one. She would try a new recipe and end up sending it to me. Oh, we disagreed on how to cook a lot of times because she still liked the old Southern way (bacon drippings in vegetables and almost all meat had to be fried) which is ok some of the time but sometimes, you have to change the way you do things in order to be more health conscious. Mama wasn't having any of that. I learned how to speak my piece from her too and boy has that got me into a lot of trouble. I've learned to temper that with a little tact over the years! Daddy taught me to be independent, much to Mama's dislike. But I learned to stand on my own two feet and she loved that. I learned that the pain I went through was twice as painful for her.
My Mama left a legacy of love when she departed this earth. So many of her friends at First Baptist of Cedartown have shown me that. Along with her friends in the Eastern Star and the Women's Missionary Union. Somebody got sick, you could count on Virginia to bake a cake or pie of some kind and take it to them. You're having a dinner at the lodge, yep Virginia could be counted on to make her Blueberry Delight or something extra special and she would be in that kitchen serving too! She touched so many lives by just her smile and her sweet giving spirit. You also knew if you were in big trouble just by looking at her face. She had "that look."
I was fortunate enough to have a three generation picture made with her and my girls while she was here that Christmas of 2012 and I will cherish those fun times forever. Virginia Hardage was a good woman and she was my friend as well as my mother. She has left a vacancy in my heart as big as the Grand Canyon...but I know she is where she wanted to be and I will see her again some day. Knowing those two things helps fill that vacancy...just a little bit.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Paw Prints on my Heart
If you have ever had a pet, you know that they can work their way into a huge part of your heart and live there and comsume a part of you. If you have never experienced the joy of a little furry 4 legged creature crawl up on your lap or lick you until you giggle like a little kid, you have missed one of life's great joys.
This is the story of Luke the German Shorthair/Chocolate Lab mix that came into our lives 14 years ago and left us just this morning. Luke was a rescue. His mom and all of his siblings but one brother died the day he was born. Luke was bottle fed and carried in a car for the first 8 weeks of his life by the Glaze family, who was his first human family. I knew Ann Glaze through a Bible study we took together and found out about Luke needing a new home when he was 6 months old. He had been living with Ann's sister-in-law and her family and he was getting big in a hurry. They weren't use to dogs and had never had one that promised to be as big as Luke was sure to get. So he came to live with us.
Luke first took up residence in our home as a 6 month old and was the cutest giant piece of chocolate I had ever seen. I knew when I called my hubby and asked "do you know anyone who wants a chocolate lab?" that the question was answered before it was ever asked! The day he came to our home was a sad day for his first adoptive family because they loved him and knew they just couldn't keep him. His little girl human was the saddest of all and she cried the whole time. There was another little girl human living in our home who would grow to love Luke and be one of his best buds for a long time.
Luke went to Puppy Preschool and just barely passed the class. He did not like to go to the down position for anyone by our older daughter Courtney and he went there for her after the first night learning it. Being the Alpha Male, he decided he would try his stubborness on me but he learned quickly that "when Mama speaks, you better move!" Luke had a human "litter mate" in my husband, Terry. They have played on the floor to the point of knocking each other out with their head butting sessions and took great naps on the floor together as one might see a little boy and his dog do. Luke loved to go for rides in the truck with Terry and would sit in the front seat like a human with his front paw resting on the window. Just two good buds hangning out together.
Luke's sleeping place at night for many years was half of a twin bed with our youngest daughter Sarah, the girl he attached himself to. When Sarah went away to college, Luke was lost for quite a while. But then she would come home for a visit and he had his girl back for a while. Sarah is married and has her own 4-legged kids now and brings them to see us occasionally. She still liked to love on Luke though!
This morning was one of the hardest of my life as I watched Luke slip away peacefully. The last few years have been hard for him as he was dealing with arthritis issues - common in most big dogs. Over the last couple of days, he as been a very sick boy and got worse through the night last night. We decided this morning that we needed to get him to the vet and while there, she told us what we already knew. She was almost certain Luke had cancer and was in a great deal of pain. She also thought he may have had a stroke over the last month because of some things she saw in him.
Luke had spent his last day on this earth and in our house. He will spend many more days in our hearts because that's just the way it is with these 4-legged friends we call pets. Yes, they can be messy and time consuming and a committment but when they leave their paw prints on your heart, you cannot wash them off so easily.
Rest in peace "Old Boy," we'll miss you!
This is the story of Luke the German Shorthair/Chocolate Lab mix that came into our lives 14 years ago and left us just this morning. Luke was a rescue. His mom and all of his siblings but one brother died the day he was born. Luke was bottle fed and carried in a car for the first 8 weeks of his life by the Glaze family, who was his first human family. I knew Ann Glaze through a Bible study we took together and found out about Luke needing a new home when he was 6 months old. He had been living with Ann's sister-in-law and her family and he was getting big in a hurry. They weren't use to dogs and had never had one that promised to be as big as Luke was sure to get. So he came to live with us.
Luke first took up residence in our home as a 6 month old and was the cutest giant piece of chocolate I had ever seen. I knew when I called my hubby and asked "do you know anyone who wants a chocolate lab?" that the question was answered before it was ever asked! The day he came to our home was a sad day for his first adoptive family because they loved him and knew they just couldn't keep him. His little girl human was the saddest of all and she cried the whole time. There was another little girl human living in our home who would grow to love Luke and be one of his best buds for a long time.
Luke went to Puppy Preschool and just barely passed the class. He did not like to go to the down position for anyone by our older daughter Courtney and he went there for her after the first night learning it. Being the Alpha Male, he decided he would try his stubborness on me but he learned quickly that "when Mama speaks, you better move!" Luke had a human "litter mate" in my husband, Terry. They have played on the floor to the point of knocking each other out with their head butting sessions and took great naps on the floor together as one might see a little boy and his dog do. Luke loved to go for rides in the truck with Terry and would sit in the front seat like a human with his front paw resting on the window. Just two good buds hangning out together.
Luke's sleeping place at night for many years was half of a twin bed with our youngest daughter Sarah, the girl he attached himself to. When Sarah went away to college, Luke was lost for quite a while. But then she would come home for a visit and he had his girl back for a while. Sarah is married and has her own 4-legged kids now and brings them to see us occasionally. She still liked to love on Luke though!
This morning was one of the hardest of my life as I watched Luke slip away peacefully. The last few years have been hard for him as he was dealing with arthritis issues - common in most big dogs. Over the last couple of days, he as been a very sick boy and got worse through the night last night. We decided this morning that we needed to get him to the vet and while there, she told us what we already knew. She was almost certain Luke had cancer and was in a great deal of pain. She also thought he may have had a stroke over the last month because of some things she saw in him.
Luke had spent his last day on this earth and in our house. He will spend many more days in our hearts because that's just the way it is with these 4-legged friends we call pets. Yes, they can be messy and time consuming and a committment but when they leave their paw prints on your heart, you cannot wash them off so easily.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Good-bye 2012
Well, tonight we say good-bye to 2012 and hello to 2013. As I have been in a reflective mood all day today, I thought I would share some of the memories of this past year. Some good and some not so much!
In January, we lost my sweet uncle Lamar to ALS. We made a trip to GA for his funeral and some family time with aunts, uncles, and cousins, my Mom and siblings. It was a sad time but the celebration of Uncle Lamar's life and how he became a Christian, was amazing! Thank you God he is in your loving arms now.
In March, our beautiful youngest daughter got a job back in Ohio and moved back home and her husband followed in April. They now live in Grove City, OH and both commute 45 minutes in opposite directions to their jobs. It is wonderful to have all of our chicks in close proximity to us again!
We didn't get much camping in this summer but the trips we did make were relaxing and wonderful. As always, we met new folks and had good conversations and fellowship with them. We found a new state park to visit and hope to go there again this summer of 2013.
In June, my sweet Momma was diagnosed with colon cancer and had surgery for that. I spent a week in GA caring for and loving on her and had a good time visiting with my sister-in-law, Marsha and visited with a cousin from Daddy's side that I don't get to see very often.
In September, we lost my sweet Aunt Maudeen. She has always been like a second mother to me and I loved her dearly. She suffered many falls and with dimentia in the end but, Praise God, she is whole now and not suffering. I still miss her, but know I will see her again some day.
Also in September, my sweetheart and I, along with our dearest friends in the world, celebrated my birthday by walking the United States Air Force 10K. It was grueling as we did not prepare well enough, but we will be better prepared for September 2013 when we do it again! I cannot tell you the energy I had as we rounded the bend and I saw the finish line ahead of me. I wanted to run across it but the spasms in my back prevented that (along with the smarter voice in my head).
In November, we spent Thanksgiving with all 4 of our kids by taking dinner to Grove City. With Sarah in the Ag business and Matthew in retail, it's hard for them to get time off, so we decided we would still all have dinner together and we had a blast. Our beautiful oldest daughter, Courtney and her handsome hubby Caleb rode up with us and I think we all had a great Thanksgiving. The guys kept quoting a line from a movie that Terry and I were not clear on so when I asked what the line was from, they both answered "Tombstone!" Terry and I had never seen the movie and they were all shocked so after a wonderful dinner and ever better desserts, we watched Tombstone. It was pretty good, not one of my favorites though.
In December, we received a surprise visit from my Mom. Who came and spent a little over a week with us. I so wish I could convince her to move back up here, but as they say "you can take the girl out of the south but you can never take the south out of the girl!" I'm thankful she is healthy enough to drive herself up here from GA and that she is still young enough to have (hopefully) many years ahead of her. It was a wonderful visit and I found myself wishing for my entire family to be here with us for Christmas.
We have finished off the year with a visit from our son-in-love's parents from GA over Christmas. They, along with our youngest and her sweet hubby, were here a few days and we enjoyed spending time with them and teaching them all about snow blowers and the proper way to shovel snow! Then, two days after Christmas, we were at Kettering Hospital where my beloved had his gallbladder removed along with hernia repair. He is recouping wonderfully and is anxious to be well enough to return to work in the new year.
Well, there you have it. The year in review as I see it. God has taken me on a very hard personal journey in the last couple of months and I will be traveling it for another couple of months yet. Lot's of visiting my past, dealing with things I buried deep (and would have loved to keep buried) and lots of forgiveness and grace. It is a soul searching journey that I am growing from and hope to help others through in the future. God is at work in my life and I can't wait to see what He brings me to and through in 2013.
Be safe this New Year's Eve and I pray God brings you many rich blessings in the coming year!
Happy New Year!
In January, we lost my sweet uncle Lamar to ALS. We made a trip to GA for his funeral and some family time with aunts, uncles, and cousins, my Mom and siblings. It was a sad time but the celebration of Uncle Lamar's life and how he became a Christian, was amazing! Thank you God he is in your loving arms now.
In March, our beautiful youngest daughter got a job back in Ohio and moved back home and her husband followed in April. They now live in Grove City, OH and both commute 45 minutes in opposite directions to their jobs. It is wonderful to have all of our chicks in close proximity to us again!
We didn't get much camping in this summer but the trips we did make were relaxing and wonderful. As always, we met new folks and had good conversations and fellowship with them. We found a new state park to visit and hope to go there again this summer of 2013.
In June, my sweet Momma was diagnosed with colon cancer and had surgery for that. I spent a week in GA caring for and loving on her and had a good time visiting with my sister-in-law, Marsha and visited with a cousin from Daddy's side that I don't get to see very often.
In September, we lost my sweet Aunt Maudeen. She has always been like a second mother to me and I loved her dearly. She suffered many falls and with dimentia in the end but, Praise God, she is whole now and not suffering. I still miss her, but know I will see her again some day.
Also in September, my sweetheart and I, along with our dearest friends in the world, celebrated my birthday by walking the United States Air Force 10K. It was grueling as we did not prepare well enough, but we will be better prepared for September 2013 when we do it again! I cannot tell you the energy I had as we rounded the bend and I saw the finish line ahead of me. I wanted to run across it but the spasms in my back prevented that (along with the smarter voice in my head).
In November, we spent Thanksgiving with all 4 of our kids by taking dinner to Grove City. With Sarah in the Ag business and Matthew in retail, it's hard for them to get time off, so we decided we would still all have dinner together and we had a blast. Our beautiful oldest daughter, Courtney and her handsome hubby Caleb rode up with us and I think we all had a great Thanksgiving. The guys kept quoting a line from a movie that Terry and I were not clear on so when I asked what the line was from, they both answered "Tombstone!" Terry and I had never seen the movie and they were all shocked so after a wonderful dinner and ever better desserts, we watched Tombstone. It was pretty good, not one of my favorites though.
In December, we received a surprise visit from my Mom. Who came and spent a little over a week with us. I so wish I could convince her to move back up here, but as they say "you can take the girl out of the south but you can never take the south out of the girl!" I'm thankful she is healthy enough to drive herself up here from GA and that she is still young enough to have (hopefully) many years ahead of her. It was a wonderful visit and I found myself wishing for my entire family to be here with us for Christmas.
We have finished off the year with a visit from our son-in-love's parents from GA over Christmas. They, along with our youngest and her sweet hubby, were here a few days and we enjoyed spending time with them and teaching them all about snow blowers and the proper way to shovel snow! Then, two days after Christmas, we were at Kettering Hospital where my beloved had his gallbladder removed along with hernia repair. He is recouping wonderfully and is anxious to be well enough to return to work in the new year.
Well, there you have it. The year in review as I see it. God has taken me on a very hard personal journey in the last couple of months and I will be traveling it for another couple of months yet. Lot's of visiting my past, dealing with things I buried deep (and would have loved to keep buried) and lots of forgiveness and grace. It is a soul searching journey that I am growing from and hope to help others through in the future. God is at work in my life and I can't wait to see what He brings me to and through in 2013.
Be safe this New Year's Eve and I pray God brings you many rich blessings in the coming year!
Happy New Year!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Big Changes
Big Changes
In February of this year, my sweet hubby and I signed up for the United States Air Force 10K with every intention of training clear up until the day of the race. Yeah! That didn't work out so well. We trained, walked on a treadmill, for several months and were doing well and then ...we stopped. I don't know what possessed us to think we could actually do a 10K without training. That's 6.2 miles people! Anyway, flash forward to two weeks before the race. My sweetie kept asking "are you sure?" "are you sure?" until finally I just said, "look, I'm doing this. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm doing this!" I knew I would be kicking myself in the butt with every step I took for not training better. The point was, it was my 55th birthday and I was going to do something memorable.
The day before the 10K, I went to pick up our packets - bibs, t-shirts, hats, etc - as I was at the counter to pick up, I looked over to the line next to me and there was my best friend's husband picking up their packets! What a great surprise!
September 15, 2012 RACE DAY! The day dawned a little chilly and the parking lot was filling fast. It was dark at 6:15 a.m. when we pulled into the grass field that would be our "parking lot." Cars were lined for at least a half mile ahead of us and I don't even know how long behind. We got out of the truck and started walking as the sun was rising. No one told us you have to walk for a mile before you even start the 10K! Our friends showed up right before the start was called. We saw the B2 fly over and it was amazing! We were humbled by all the wheeled racers. And then we were off!
The first two miles were not so bad. Mile two was the big hill we had been dreading. There were live bands along the race route and water/Gatorade stations along the way as well. We were pulling up the rear after the 3 mile mark. We were on a long walk in what seemed to be a vacant land. Around mile 4, my older brother called to wish me a happy birthday. I was now having back spasms as my constant reminder that I had not trained well, so I sat on a guard rail to talk with him. When we reached the 5 mile mark, our youngest child called and was screaming into the phone how proud she was that we were actually doing this race.
When we reached that corner where we turned and could see all the well wishers and I heard "good job, you're almost there" and "great job Debra", and "keep it up, you're almost to the finish line" I wanted to sob. Those people didn't know me from Adam and yet, here they were cheering me to finish. The greatest cheerleader I had all throughout the 10K was my friend Bev. If she hadn't been there, I don't know that I would have made it as far as I did.
As we turned down the last stretch and I saw that finish line, my heart beat increased and I wanted to run! We were going to finish and finish in under the 4 hour time limit. My hubby and I held hands as we finished together and our friends finished right beside us. It was probably one of the most memorable birthdays I have ever spent!
As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of the pain I went through the rest of that day. Most of which, I probably would not have gone through if I had trained better. I am now on a quest to get healthy and run at least half of that same race next year and finish in 2 hours. I have signed up for the Couch 2 5K training program and will start that on Monday. I know I have it in me to run that race and finish well. I know I have Someone who will be with me every step of the way and I cling to His words from Hebrews:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
In February of this year, my sweet hubby and I signed up for the United States Air Force 10K with every intention of training clear up until the day of the race. Yeah! That didn't work out so well. We trained, walked on a treadmill, for several months and were doing well and then ...we stopped. I don't know what possessed us to think we could actually do a 10K without training. That's 6.2 miles people! Anyway, flash forward to two weeks before the race. My sweetie kept asking "are you sure?" "are you sure?" until finally I just said, "look, I'm doing this. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm doing this!" I knew I would be kicking myself in the butt with every step I took for not training better. The point was, it was my 55th birthday and I was going to do something memorable.
The day before the 10K, I went to pick up our packets - bibs, t-shirts, hats, etc - as I was at the counter to pick up, I looked over to the line next to me and there was my best friend's husband picking up their packets! What a great surprise!
September 15, 2012 RACE DAY! The day dawned a little chilly and the parking lot was filling fast. It was dark at 6:15 a.m. when we pulled into the grass field that would be our "parking lot." Cars were lined for at least a half mile ahead of us and I don't even know how long behind. We got out of the truck and started walking as the sun was rising. No one told us you have to walk for a mile before you even start the 10K! Our friends showed up right before the start was called. We saw the B2 fly over and it was amazing! We were humbled by all the wheeled racers. And then we were off!
The first two miles were not so bad. Mile two was the big hill we had been dreading. There were live bands along the race route and water/Gatorade stations along the way as well. We were pulling up the rear after the 3 mile mark. We were on a long walk in what seemed to be a vacant land. Around mile 4, my older brother called to wish me a happy birthday. I was now having back spasms as my constant reminder that I had not trained well, so I sat on a guard rail to talk with him. When we reached the 5 mile mark, our youngest child called and was screaming into the phone how proud she was that we were actually doing this race.
When we reached that corner where we turned and could see all the well wishers and I heard "good job, you're almost there" and "great job Debra", and "keep it up, you're almost to the finish line" I wanted to sob. Those people didn't know me from Adam and yet, here they were cheering me to finish. The greatest cheerleader I had all throughout the 10K was my friend Bev. If she hadn't been there, I don't know that I would have made it as far as I did.
As we turned down the last stretch and I saw that finish line, my heart beat increased and I wanted to run! We were going to finish and finish in under the 4 hour time limit. My hubby and I held hands as we finished together and our friends finished right beside us. It was probably one of the most memorable birthdays I have ever spent!
As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of the pain I went through the rest of that day. Most of which, I probably would not have gone through if I had trained better. I am now on a quest to get healthy and run at least half of that same race next year and finish in 2 hours. I have signed up for the Couch 2 5K training program and will start that on Monday. I know I have it in me to run that race and finish well. I know I have Someone who will be with me every step of the way and I cling to His words from Hebrews:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
Pieces of My Heart
Pieces of My Heart - September 2012
This has been another tough year for my family as far as losing loved ones. In January, we buried my Uncle Lamar who had suffered the last few years with ALS. He was one of the sweetest, most Godly men I have every known. We had a special connection. He was my mom's youngest sibling and they were close also. He was more like an older brother than an uncle. He was always looking out for me when I was single and living in GA. He would stop by my apartment to make sure I was ok and that my car was running alright. Sometimes, he just stopped by to talk. I loved him dearly and will miss him a lot. He leaves behind a wonderful loving wife, Aunt Sandra, and his children Kim (Leslie) Cheek and their 4 kids and Kevin "Bubba" (Charlene) and their daughter. We will see each other again, I know. So for now, we wait for that day of sweet reunion.
Just two short weeks ago, on September 14, the woman who has always been like a second mother to me, Aunt Maudeen, left us. She was my mom's last remaining sibling! I learned so much from this woman. Lot's of cooking stuff. Sewing techniques. Independence. Lot's of things. She was a great woman and I loved her so much.
My heart goes out to my mom, Virginia Hardage, who is another huge example to me. She has lost a sweet brother and sister but more than that, she has lost dear friends. The whole family has been so close for years and now we must wait for that great day when we will all be together again.
I share these thoughts to say that we all have loved ones in our lives who steal little pieces of our hearts. They come into our lives and show us things that no one else could show us. They love us like no one else could and can be completely honest and blunt with us like no one else can. If you have people in your life that have moved into a piece of your heart, don't wait to let them know how you feel about them. Tell them now! You don't know how much time you or they may have. Don't waste it!
Psalm 139:14-16
"I prase you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unforme3d substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet theree ws none of them."
This has been another tough year for my family as far as losing loved ones. In January, we buried my Uncle Lamar who had suffered the last few years with ALS. He was one of the sweetest, most Godly men I have every known. We had a special connection. He was my mom's youngest sibling and they were close also. He was more like an older brother than an uncle. He was always looking out for me when I was single and living in GA. He would stop by my apartment to make sure I was ok and that my car was running alright. Sometimes, he just stopped by to talk. I loved him dearly and will miss him a lot. He leaves behind a wonderful loving wife, Aunt Sandra, and his children Kim (Leslie) Cheek and their 4 kids and Kevin "Bubba" (Charlene) and their daughter. We will see each other again, I know. So for now, we wait for that day of sweet reunion.
Just two short weeks ago, on September 14, the woman who has always been like a second mother to me, Aunt Maudeen, left us. She was my mom's last remaining sibling! I learned so much from this woman. Lot's of cooking stuff. Sewing techniques. Independence. Lot's of things. She was a great woman and I loved her so much.
My heart goes out to my mom, Virginia Hardage, who is another huge example to me. She has lost a sweet brother and sister but more than that, she has lost dear friends. The whole family has been so close for years and now we must wait for that great day when we will all be together again.
I share these thoughts to say that we all have loved ones in our lives who steal little pieces of our hearts. They come into our lives and show us things that no one else could show us. They love us like no one else could and can be completely honest and blunt with us like no one else can. If you have people in your life that have moved into a piece of your heart, don't wait to let them know how you feel about them. Tell them now! You don't know how much time you or they may have. Don't waste it!
Psalm 139:14-16
"I prase you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unforme3d substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet theree ws none of them."
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Memories
February is a hard month for me and my family. 8 years ago this week, we lost my Daddy after a 12 year battle with cancer. 6 years ago this week, we lost my mother-in-law after a 3 year battle with brain cancer. And 2 years ago last week we lost my sister-in-law after a year long battle with breast cancer.
As hard as those losses are for me, the sweet memories of those we've lost and the fact that I know they are in no more pain and are with their heavenly Father, seem to ease the pain just a little.
My Daddy was an educated man who worked hard to provide well for his family. Besides my beautiful mother - who he was married to for 49 years - there were four of us kids. Of my three brothers, 2 of them are so much like Daddy that it's a little scarey! My older brother and I are a lot more like our mother. Daddy had a quietness about him but you always knew he was a strong man. Not strong in a physical sense but strong none the less. He taught me to be an independent woman and how to take care of myself because he said "there won't always be a man around to help you." When I found out Daddy was dying and losing his battle with cancer I dreamed I spoke at his funeral. At first I thought it a little absurd, because I knew I could never do that. But a week later, I spoke at his funeral! Yes, I know it was not of my own accord. My husband told me later about everything I said and it was definitely the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I didn't shed a tear that day and that was totally the Holy Spirit's doing. But looking back on that now, I think that was that gentle strength flowing from Daddy to me that enabled me to do that hard thing that day.
I have some wonderful memories of times with Daddy. We camped a lot as I was growing up and I remember Daddy teaching me to swim in Lake Alatoona in Acworth, GA. He also tried to teach me to water ski...notice I said "he tried!" He taught me how to drive and how to walk with my back straight and my head held high. He taught me to have a confidence in myself "because it's a hard world out there and a lot of people won't have that confidence in you!" One of the sweetest things Daddy taught me was what to look for in a husband. I married a man who is a lot like my Daddy in characteristics. Daddy always treated my mother like a Queen and their love for each other was always evident to us kids. Their respect for one another was one of the most important things I learned from watching them. It's wonderful to have that kind of love and respect for one another.
My mother-in law was one of the most precious people in my life. She was one of the sweetest, Godliest women I have ever met. She taught me a lot about sewing, but most of all, she taught me how to be a woman of God. She was a real prayer warrior and when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I found out just how much of a prayer warrior she was. In my seventh month I went into pre-mature labor and ended up making three trips to the hospital. After the third trip, my doctor put me on bed rest until delivery. I asked him how I was supposed to do that with a three year old at home? My blessed mother-in-law is how I did that! Each Sunday night, for three weeks, my husband would move us to my in-law's house and there my sweet mother-in-law would take care of my every need (and that of my three year old daughter). Then, on Friday night, back home we went. Our daughter was born, pre-maturely by 4 weeks and my mother-in-law visited Sarah at Children's almost every day of the 2 weeks she was there.
We used to do ceramics together and Mom found a new love in a craft she had not tried before. She made some beautiful pieces! Some of those pieces are now at my house because she's gone. I have little touches of Vivian all over my home from original oil paintings she sold with my sister-in-law, to craft things she made with the church ladies. Lots and lots of pictures of my girls in dresses she made for them. To say I miss her would be an understatement but I get a part of her every single day because I'm married to her wonderful son who is a great deal like her.
My sister-in-law and I were never very close but we did agree to be civil to each other. She loved my girls so much and loved to have them in her home. I cannot fault her for that! Vicky was in to a lot over the years. She tried a lot of the homeopathic stuff and tried a lot of vegetarian recipes out on us. Some times it turned out pretty funny and some times not so much! I feel like Vicky died way to early of a disease that is so curable these days. I don't agree with the choices she made in the end but they were her choices, not mine. Were I in the same situation, I don't know what my choices would be. I know she loved her son and husband and spent many years home schooling Nathan. He is a brilliant young man and very gifted musically and I know Vicky was very proud of him.
We never know why God chooses to take the ones we love at what we consider an early age but we will always have the memories to hang onto like a warm blanket. Do I miss these people I've talked about in this post? Absolutely! Would I want them back? Knowing what they went through and not knowing if they would still have to go through it...probably not. All three of these people I loved, suffered and not just physically. I would not want any of them to have to suffer again because watching it hurt too much. I will just wrap myself in the warm blanket of those memories and rejoice in the fact that some sweet day we'll see each other again.
As hard as those losses are for me, the sweet memories of those we've lost and the fact that I know they are in no more pain and are with their heavenly Father, seem to ease the pain just a little.
My Daddy was an educated man who worked hard to provide well for his family. Besides my beautiful mother - who he was married to for 49 years - there were four of us kids. Of my three brothers, 2 of them are so much like Daddy that it's a little scarey! My older brother and I are a lot more like our mother. Daddy had a quietness about him but you always knew he was a strong man. Not strong in a physical sense but strong none the less. He taught me to be an independent woman and how to take care of myself because he said "there won't always be a man around to help you." When I found out Daddy was dying and losing his battle with cancer I dreamed I spoke at his funeral. At first I thought it a little absurd, because I knew I could never do that. But a week later, I spoke at his funeral! Yes, I know it was not of my own accord. My husband told me later about everything I said and it was definitely the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I didn't shed a tear that day and that was totally the Holy Spirit's doing. But looking back on that now, I think that was that gentle strength flowing from Daddy to me that enabled me to do that hard thing that day.
I have some wonderful memories of times with Daddy. We camped a lot as I was growing up and I remember Daddy teaching me to swim in Lake Alatoona in Acworth, GA. He also tried to teach me to water ski...notice I said "he tried!" He taught me how to drive and how to walk with my back straight and my head held high. He taught me to have a confidence in myself "because it's a hard world out there and a lot of people won't have that confidence in you!" One of the sweetest things Daddy taught me was what to look for in a husband. I married a man who is a lot like my Daddy in characteristics. Daddy always treated my mother like a Queen and their love for each other was always evident to us kids. Their respect for one another was one of the most important things I learned from watching them. It's wonderful to have that kind of love and respect for one another.
My mother-in law was one of the most precious people in my life. She was one of the sweetest, Godliest women I have ever met. She taught me a lot about sewing, but most of all, she taught me how to be a woman of God. She was a real prayer warrior and when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I found out just how much of a prayer warrior she was. In my seventh month I went into pre-mature labor and ended up making three trips to the hospital. After the third trip, my doctor put me on bed rest until delivery. I asked him how I was supposed to do that with a three year old at home? My blessed mother-in-law is how I did that! Each Sunday night, for three weeks, my husband would move us to my in-law's house and there my sweet mother-in-law would take care of my every need (and that of my three year old daughter). Then, on Friday night, back home we went. Our daughter was born, pre-maturely by 4 weeks and my mother-in-law visited Sarah at Children's almost every day of the 2 weeks she was there.
We used to do ceramics together and Mom found a new love in a craft she had not tried before. She made some beautiful pieces! Some of those pieces are now at my house because she's gone. I have little touches of Vivian all over my home from original oil paintings she sold with my sister-in-law, to craft things she made with the church ladies. Lots and lots of pictures of my girls in dresses she made for them. To say I miss her would be an understatement but I get a part of her every single day because I'm married to her wonderful son who is a great deal like her.
My sister-in-law and I were never very close but we did agree to be civil to each other. She loved my girls so much and loved to have them in her home. I cannot fault her for that! Vicky was in to a lot over the years. She tried a lot of the homeopathic stuff and tried a lot of vegetarian recipes out on us. Some times it turned out pretty funny and some times not so much! I feel like Vicky died way to early of a disease that is so curable these days. I don't agree with the choices she made in the end but they were her choices, not mine. Were I in the same situation, I don't know what my choices would be. I know she loved her son and husband and spent many years home schooling Nathan. He is a brilliant young man and very gifted musically and I know Vicky was very proud of him.
We never know why God chooses to take the ones we love at what we consider an early age but we will always have the memories to hang onto like a warm blanket. Do I miss these people I've talked about in this post? Absolutely! Would I want them back? Knowing what they went through and not knowing if they would still have to go through it...probably not. All three of these people I loved, suffered and not just physically. I would not want any of them to have to suffer again because watching it hurt too much. I will just wrap myself in the warm blanket of those memories and rejoice in the fact that some sweet day we'll see each other again.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
A Piece of My Heart in Heaven
For reasons unknown to me, the child Terry and I lost almost 25 years ago has been on my mind today. So, please bear with me as I write about this tiny piece of my heart.
Almost 27 years ago, we welcomed our precious little beauty Courtney Elisabeth into the world. We loved her from the instant we saw her and she became the joy of our lives. We got to the point all parents eventually get to where we couldn't remember what our lives were like without her there and we wondered how we had survived without her before she came! I had wanted to have a baby way before my hubby was ready and I guess God felt I wasn't ready either because it took my almost 3 years of trying before He blessed us with this beautiful little bundle. She was perfect in every way - beautiful little round head, heart shaped mouth, ten little toes and ten tiny little fingers, just as laid back as can be.
We went along for almost 2 years before I got pregnant again and we were ready to welcome our second little bundle. We both enjoyed being parents and were hoping a little boy would come our way this time. David Tyler would be his name - David after King David of the Bible and Tyler after Ty Cobb of baseball fame. Close to my fourth month I started having problems. Spotting one day led to major cramping the next and then we were at the hospital. I lost this precious little one that we so wanted and never found out if it was a boy or a girl. No matter...God knew and He obviously had other plans.
Some friends had a plant sent to the house after I went home from a night in the hospital. They felt so bad for us. That plant was about 8 inches tall then and now, some 25 years later, it stands almost 6 feet tall. I remember our child every October 23 (the day our baby went to heaven) and say a prayer that someday, God will allow us to meet this little piece of my heart.
God was gracious back then and seven months after giving away a piece of my heart He gave me a piece of his in return. Sarah Ashley was born to us 3 years after her sister came to us. She was just as beautiful and was so very different from the very start. We almost lost her too, only this time I was seven months into the pregnancy. After 3 trips to the hospital for early labor, Sarah came into this world kicking and screaming and ready to take on the world. She was 4 weeks premature and was on a ventillator for the first 8 days. We found out when she was around 6 months old that they revived her 7 times in transport from Kettering Hospital to Childrens in Dayton. I didn't get to hold her until she was 8 days old and my heart ached for that.
To this day, my girls are as different as they are alike. They have grown into two beautiful women and are both married to two wonderful godly men. They are my joy and both hold pieces of my heart as well.
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The Pogue girls (well one is Fennick now and one is Groce now). Aren't they gorgeous?
Almost 27 years ago, we welcomed our precious little beauty Courtney Elisabeth into the world. We loved her from the instant we saw her and she became the joy of our lives. We got to the point all parents eventually get to where we couldn't remember what our lives were like without her there and we wondered how we had survived without her before she came! I had wanted to have a baby way before my hubby was ready and I guess God felt I wasn't ready either because it took my almost 3 years of trying before He blessed us with this beautiful little bundle. She was perfect in every way - beautiful little round head, heart shaped mouth, ten little toes and ten tiny little fingers, just as laid back as can be.
We went along for almost 2 years before I got pregnant again and we were ready to welcome our second little bundle. We both enjoyed being parents and were hoping a little boy would come our way this time. David Tyler would be his name - David after King David of the Bible and Tyler after Ty Cobb of baseball fame. Close to my fourth month I started having problems. Spotting one day led to major cramping the next and then we were at the hospital. I lost this precious little one that we so wanted and never found out if it was a boy or a girl. No matter...God knew and He obviously had other plans.
Some friends had a plant sent to the house after I went home from a night in the hospital. They felt so bad for us. That plant was about 8 inches tall then and now, some 25 years later, it stands almost 6 feet tall. I remember our child every October 23 (the day our baby went to heaven) and say a prayer that someday, God will allow us to meet this little piece of my heart.
God was gracious back then and seven months after giving away a piece of my heart He gave me a piece of his in return. Sarah Ashley was born to us 3 years after her sister came to us. She was just as beautiful and was so very different from the very start. We almost lost her too, only this time I was seven months into the pregnancy. After 3 trips to the hospital for early labor, Sarah came into this world kicking and screaming and ready to take on the world. She was 4 weeks premature and was on a ventillator for the first 8 days. We found out when she was around 6 months old that they revived her 7 times in transport from Kettering Hospital to Childrens in Dayton. I didn't get to hold her until she was 8 days old and my heart ached for that.
To this day, my girls are as different as they are alike. They have grown into two beautiful women and are both married to two wonderful godly men. They are my joy and both hold pieces of my heart as well.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Man of My Heart
A little over 30 years ago, I moved from the Atlanta area to Dayton, OH. A couple of weeks after moving here, I met the man who would become my husband a short year later. We met in the Radio Shack store he ran here in Dayton and had our first date a month later. My sweet hubby will tell you he was smitten before that first date! For me, it took a little longer to drop my guard.
I had been married for a very short 3 months, a year before moving to Dayton and just didn't trust men at all. I didn't trust myself either! Our first date was to play putt-putt golf and then went with some of his friends to Wiley's Comedy Club. Little did I know that I was very sick at the time. He took me home and we sat in the car in front of my parents' home for, I'm guessing about an hour, before I was out cold! Yep! I passed out from a raging infection that was in my body and I had no idea. Over that next week, I went to the doctor 3 times for shots of penicillin and every night Terry came to see me.
Over the next several months, we saw each other almost every night and talked on the phone every night. By the fall I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful, loving man. We got engaged at Christmas and were married in May of the following year.
In the past 29 years of marriage we have become closer and closer in our relationship. So close in fact that we joke sometimes that we share a brain! To say that God joined us as one on our wedding day would be the understatement of the year. This is the man that completes me and makes me whole.
I have struggled with my faith over those 29 years and always, Terry's faith in God and how God works all things out for good has strengthened me. He has been the spiritual head of our house showing not only me but both of our daughters what a godly husband looks like. My faith has been shaken by the loss of a child, 5 years of not being able to leave my home because of fear, almost losing a second child, financial burdens, the loss of my Daddy and my mother-in-law within 2 years of each other and many more experiences. But my husband has never failed to show great faith and helped me to walk through the pain and look to my God for comfort.
In the last 3 years, my sweet husband has had heart health issues. These issues could have had devastating results if not caught and taken care of. Nevertheless, my heart was aching at the thought of him suffering. We have learned many things over the last three years about how precious every single minute of life is and we try not to take them for granted.
God gave me a strong man for a husband and he owns my heart. He is actually away on business as I write this blog and even though he just left this morning, I know I will not sleep tonight without him near. That is the kind of love every woman should experience at least once in her life. He is the man of my heart!
I had been married for a very short 3 months, a year before moving to Dayton and just didn't trust men at all. I didn't trust myself either! Our first date was to play putt-putt golf and then went with some of his friends to Wiley's Comedy Club. Little did I know that I was very sick at the time. He took me home and we sat in the car in front of my parents' home for, I'm guessing about an hour, before I was out cold! Yep! I passed out from a raging infection that was in my body and I had no idea. Over that next week, I went to the doctor 3 times for shots of penicillin and every night Terry came to see me.
Over the next several months, we saw each other almost every night and talked on the phone every night. By the fall I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this wonderful, loving man. We got engaged at Christmas and were married in May of the following year.
In the past 29 years of marriage we have become closer and closer in our relationship. So close in fact that we joke sometimes that we share a brain! To say that God joined us as one on our wedding day would be the understatement of the year. This is the man that completes me and makes me whole.
I have struggled with my faith over those 29 years and always, Terry's faith in God and how God works all things out for good has strengthened me. He has been the spiritual head of our house showing not only me but both of our daughters what a godly husband looks like. My faith has been shaken by the loss of a child, 5 years of not being able to leave my home because of fear, almost losing a second child, financial burdens, the loss of my Daddy and my mother-in-law within 2 years of each other and many more experiences. But my husband has never failed to show great faith and helped me to walk through the pain and look to my God for comfort.
In the last 3 years, my sweet husband has had heart health issues. These issues could have had devastating results if not caught and taken care of. Nevertheless, my heart was aching at the thought of him suffering. We have learned many things over the last three years about how precious every single minute of life is and we try not to take them for granted.
God gave me a strong man for a husband and he owns my heart. He is actually away on business as I write this blog and even though he just left this morning, I know I will not sleep tonight without him near. That is the kind of love every woman should experience at least once in her life. He is the man of my heart!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Words From The Heart
I will not apologize for what I am about to write. I feel very strongly about the words we use and the attitude with which we use them. I regret that some will possibly be upset with me about the words I am about to post here but I need to say them.
Words are like the perverbial two edged sword. They can build people up or tear them apart. They can make you happy or make you sad. Being raised in the south, I learned some words can be detrimental - bigotry because of ones race being at the forefront. I grew up in Georgia in the sixties and seventies and one would think the prejudices toward "colored" people would have been over by then. You would think it would be over by 2011 but unfortunately it is not.
Words about the way a person looks - size, height, etc. - are often said without thought but hurt just as much. I have always had weight issues and have been teased and tormented about my weight most of my life. People who love me have said things to me about my weight without realizing how their words and teasing hurt. Once those words come flying out of your mouth, you can't take them back. Oh, you can apologize for them, but the damage has been done.
It wasn't until recently, the last couple of weeks, that I realized why I still hold on to this weight. I think I have realized it is a control issue. I don't have to please anyone. I don't have to do anything I don't want to, so if I want to remain overweight for the rest of my life, I can. I am a grown woman afterall!
I don't want to be this way. I want so desperately to lose weight and be a normal size for a 5'4" woman, whatever that normal size is. I want to be able to chase after grandchildren when they come. I want to go for a nice long walk on the beach with the man of my dreams and not be so winded and in so much pain that I can't move the next day. I want all of this and more. So why don't you lose the weight, you might ask? I DON'T KNOW! If I had the answer to that, I probably wouldn't fail at every weight loss attempt I make.
I have come to the conclusion that if I don't love myself as I am, how will I ever love myself as a different - slimmer - person? I am trying so hard to love myself as I am. I am making progress, it helps that I have a wonderful husband who loves me just as I am. I am making progress and making improvements in my lifestyle. Eating healthy, starting to workout again, etc. I am learning to make positive comments to myself instead of being negative. I can always find something good about myself and my attitude.
I say all of the above to say this one comment: Please don't make rash statements that will hurt the person you are talking to (or about for that matter). We are all created in the image of a loving God and we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made". If you see someone different from yourself - fat, thin, black, white, yellow, purple, tall, short, one legged or three - love them for who they are, not for who you think they should be. I'm not talking about tolerence here, I'm talking about acceptance. People don't always choose to be the way they are.
Words are like the perverbial two edged sword. They can build people up or tear them apart. They can make you happy or make you sad. Being raised in the south, I learned some words can be detrimental - bigotry because of ones race being at the forefront. I grew up in Georgia in the sixties and seventies and one would think the prejudices toward "colored" people would have been over by then. You would think it would be over by 2011 but unfortunately it is not.
Words about the way a person looks - size, height, etc. - are often said without thought but hurt just as much. I have always had weight issues and have been teased and tormented about my weight most of my life. People who love me have said things to me about my weight without realizing how their words and teasing hurt. Once those words come flying out of your mouth, you can't take them back. Oh, you can apologize for them, but the damage has been done.
It wasn't until recently, the last couple of weeks, that I realized why I still hold on to this weight. I think I have realized it is a control issue. I don't have to please anyone. I don't have to do anything I don't want to, so if I want to remain overweight for the rest of my life, I can. I am a grown woman afterall!
I don't want to be this way. I want so desperately to lose weight and be a normal size for a 5'4" woman, whatever that normal size is. I want to be able to chase after grandchildren when they come. I want to go for a nice long walk on the beach with the man of my dreams and not be so winded and in so much pain that I can't move the next day. I want all of this and more. So why don't you lose the weight, you might ask? I DON'T KNOW! If I had the answer to that, I probably wouldn't fail at every weight loss attempt I make.
I have come to the conclusion that if I don't love myself as I am, how will I ever love myself as a different - slimmer - person? I am trying so hard to love myself as I am. I am making progress, it helps that I have a wonderful husband who loves me just as I am. I am making progress and making improvements in my lifestyle. Eating healthy, starting to workout again, etc. I am learning to make positive comments to myself instead of being negative. I can always find something good about myself and my attitude.
I say all of the above to say this one comment: Please don't make rash statements that will hurt the person you are talking to (or about for that matter). We are all created in the image of a loving God and we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made". If you see someone different from yourself - fat, thin, black, white, yellow, purple, tall, short, one legged or three - love them for who they are, not for who you think they should be. I'm not talking about tolerence here, I'm talking about acceptance. People don't always choose to be the way they are.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Daddy's Heart
For those of you who never knew my Daddy, I thought I would share a little about him and how his teaching me changed my heart. Daddy was raised in Smyrna, GA and attended GA Tech to become an Industrial Engineer. He served in the USAF as a radio man and was in the AF when I was born in Columbia, SC. He was a man who loved God, loved his wife and family and loves life in general. Growing up, he taught me and my brothers to play baseball and coached my brothers teams for years. I guess he thought at 14 I was too old to be playing boys games and told me I needed to learn to cook. The first thing I learned to cook was corn bread...that turned out a lot better than the first biscuits I made (think hockey pucks!). Anyway, my love for all kinds of music come from Daddy too. We used to play Name That Tune all the time and I thinmk we were both pretty good at it. Daddy taught me how to dance and I will never forget those times we went to the "square" dance in Alpharetta. He and my Mama looked so good out there on that dance floor. They loved to dance!
Daddy always told me there wouldn't always be a man around to do things for me so I needed to learn to do them for myself. He taught me how to change a tire, change the oil in my car and then let me get my driver's license. He taught me to stand up straight and sit up straight, telling me "no body will hire you as a secretary if you slump over your desk!" He taught me how to show respect and how to respect myself. When I became an adult and was working for the same company he was working for, he would always make sure he took me to dinner while he was in Atlanta. That made me feel so special and grown up.
One of the most important lessons Daddy taught me was how to love. No, not in so many words but by the way he loved my Mama. My marriage today is the way it is because of the way those two loved each other. They set a wonderful example for us kids and I don't know that they even realize they were doing that. We lost Daddy to Cancer almost 8 years ago now and my mother's love for Daddy is still very real and very evident. We all miss him very much but he is with Jesus and someday we will all be together again.
Another important thing Daddy taught me was how to love God. Daddy was always asking us questions about the Bible...quizzing us to see if we really knew. He loved the Word and loved the history of the Bible. I spoke at Daddy's funeral that day in February and it is only through the love of THE FATHER that I was able to do that. Had I not learned about God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus from my Daddy, I know there is no way I would have been able to speak that day.
My Daddy was a great man in my world and I loved him very much. I see a lot of him and his mannerisms in my children, which is kind of weird. I see him in my brothers too but most of all, I see him when I least expect it in the little things. When I catch myself slouching, I can still hear his voice telling me to get my shoulders back. When my husband and I play Name That Tune in the car, I can see his face and EVERY time I hear or sing How Great Thou Art I see his face.
I guess you could say this is a tribute to my Daddy and hopfeully, that's ok. He was on my heart all weekend and I just wanted to share about him in this place.
Robert Harvey Hardage - 1/16/35 - 2/20/04
Daddy always told me there wouldn't always be a man around to do things for me so I needed to learn to do them for myself. He taught me how to change a tire, change the oil in my car and then let me get my driver's license. He taught me to stand up straight and sit up straight, telling me "no body will hire you as a secretary if you slump over your desk!" He taught me how to show respect and how to respect myself. When I became an adult and was working for the same company he was working for, he would always make sure he took me to dinner while he was in Atlanta. That made me feel so special and grown up.
One of the most important lessons Daddy taught me was how to love. No, not in so many words but by the way he loved my Mama. My marriage today is the way it is because of the way those two loved each other. They set a wonderful example for us kids and I don't know that they even realize they were doing that. We lost Daddy to Cancer almost 8 years ago now and my mother's love for Daddy is still very real and very evident. We all miss him very much but he is with Jesus and someday we will all be together again.
Another important thing Daddy taught me was how to love God. Daddy was always asking us questions about the Bible...quizzing us to see if we really knew. He loved the Word and loved the history of the Bible. I spoke at Daddy's funeral that day in February and it is only through the love of THE FATHER that I was able to do that. Had I not learned about God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus from my Daddy, I know there is no way I would have been able to speak that day.
My Daddy was a great man in my world and I loved him very much. I see a lot of him and his mannerisms in my children, which is kind of weird. I see him in my brothers too but most of all, I see him when I least expect it in the little things. When I catch myself slouching, I can still hear his voice telling me to get my shoulders back. When my husband and I play Name That Tune in the car, I can see his face and EVERY time I hear or sing How Great Thou Art I see his face.
I guess you could say this is a tribute to my Daddy and hopfeully, that's ok. He was on my heart all weekend and I just wanted to share about him in this place.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Starting Over
This blog is about the way life has a way of changing our heart in some way with every situation we come into. I hope all who read it will be inspired, will find humor, will enjoy it and come back again and again.
First a little about me. I was raised in Marietta, GA by two parents who were so in love that I think they breathed the same air and shared brain cells. They were never afraid to show affection toward each other in front of me and my 3 brothers. When I was 16 I went to a revival, with my two oldest brothers and a group of friends, at a small Baptist church near our home. I was saved through one of the services that week and baptized that Sunday. There should have been a huge change going on in my heart because of this experience but I know now, many years later, that I just did it because others in our little group did.
Fast forward a few years. I was working in the purchasing department of the county and a friend set me up with a friend of hers. We started dating and were engaged and married within a year. It lasted 3 months! More changes should have been going on here that were just not there. Looking back I know there were major red flags about the relationship that I should have recognized before walking down the aisle, but you know what they say about love being blind. There was no love...not really...so, I picked up the pieces of my heart and moved on.
Fast forward again, 1 year. My older brother has announced the first grand child of the family was going to be born in 8 months...in Dayton, OH (where my family lived now). My heart was so longing for family at this time that I packed up all my things and moved back into my parents home. One month after my move, God placed a man in my life who would change my world and my heart in a major way and for the rest of my life. Ok, think of some romantic music and click it on in your brain here. Two months after my move to Dayton, I had my first date with the man I would eventually marry and have two beautiful daughters with.
On one of our first dates, Terry (my husband) asked me if I knew Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Yes, I told him. And that was the beginning of his planning to marry me. We have been married now for 29 years and have grown so close that sometimes I thing WE share the same brain cells and breathe the same air.
I know some of you are wondering why I would tell you all this, and bore some of you to tears, but I have reason to believe that if I fill you in on this information, it will help you understand why I write this blog in the first place. The reason is to share the many changes of my heart (and hopefully some of yours) through my experiences as a wife and mother for 29 years and also through my walk with God and the many changes He has made in my heart. The biggest change of all came when our daughter Courtney was about a year and a half old. We were at a church service listening to testimonies of choir members who had just returned from a trip to Wales. I was so moved by one of the testimonies that I began to question my own relationship with Jesus Christ to the point that I went forward to speak to a pastor and get my salvation experience confirmed.
After praying with the pastor, he gave me a small workbook that talked about assurance of your salvation. In it were Scripture verses to look up and answer questions about. We had a couple of meetings after and I was in deed assured that I was saved. This was the real beginning of my faith journey and the first oa many changes to my heart over the years. I participated in many women's Bible studies over the years, even led a few and God just keeps changing my heart through each one.
If you are seeking that type of heart changing relationship with a God who loves you enough to send his only Son to die on a cross for you, it is as simple as saying a prayer and asking God to forgive you for your sin (the bad stuff we all do) and asking Jesus to live in your heart and be your Savior. Does this mean you won't ever sin again after this? Absolutely not. Does it mean you will be changed instantly like you see on so many movies? Possibly. Does it mean you will have a relationship with a loving Father and live with Him in eternity? Yep! We don't have to even change the way we are to come to Him. He just bids us to come!
I feel like I've rambled in many directions on this the first entry to my blog. Hopefully, you found something interesting here and will return often to see other "changes of the heart".
Blessings
First a little about me. I was raised in Marietta, GA by two parents who were so in love that I think they breathed the same air and shared brain cells. They were never afraid to show affection toward each other in front of me and my 3 brothers. When I was 16 I went to a revival, with my two oldest brothers and a group of friends, at a small Baptist church near our home. I was saved through one of the services that week and baptized that Sunday. There should have been a huge change going on in my heart because of this experience but I know now, many years later, that I just did it because others in our little group did.
Fast forward a few years. I was working in the purchasing department of the county and a friend set me up with a friend of hers. We started dating and were engaged and married within a year. It lasted 3 months! More changes should have been going on here that were just not there. Looking back I know there were major red flags about the relationship that I should have recognized before walking down the aisle, but you know what they say about love being blind. There was no love...not really...so, I picked up the pieces of my heart and moved on.
Fast forward again, 1 year. My older brother has announced the first grand child of the family was going to be born in 8 months...in Dayton, OH (where my family lived now). My heart was so longing for family at this time that I packed up all my things and moved back into my parents home. One month after my move, God placed a man in my life who would change my world and my heart in a major way and for the rest of my life. Ok, think of some romantic music and click it on in your brain here. Two months after my move to Dayton, I had my first date with the man I would eventually marry and have two beautiful daughters with.
On one of our first dates, Terry (my husband) asked me if I knew Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Yes, I told him. And that was the beginning of his planning to marry me. We have been married now for 29 years and have grown so close that sometimes I thing WE share the same brain cells and breathe the same air.
I know some of you are wondering why I would tell you all this, and bore some of you to tears, but I have reason to believe that if I fill you in on this information, it will help you understand why I write this blog in the first place. The reason is to share the many changes of my heart (and hopefully some of yours) through my experiences as a wife and mother for 29 years and also through my walk with God and the many changes He has made in my heart. The biggest change of all came when our daughter Courtney was about a year and a half old. We were at a church service listening to testimonies of choir members who had just returned from a trip to Wales. I was so moved by one of the testimonies that I began to question my own relationship with Jesus Christ to the point that I went forward to speak to a pastor and get my salvation experience confirmed.
After praying with the pastor, he gave me a small workbook that talked about assurance of your salvation. In it were Scripture verses to look up and answer questions about. We had a couple of meetings after and I was in deed assured that I was saved. This was the real beginning of my faith journey and the first oa many changes to my heart over the years. I participated in many women's Bible studies over the years, even led a few and God just keeps changing my heart through each one.
If you are seeking that type of heart changing relationship with a God who loves you enough to send his only Son to die on a cross for you, it is as simple as saying a prayer and asking God to forgive you for your sin (the bad stuff we all do) and asking Jesus to live in your heart and be your Savior. Does this mean you won't ever sin again after this? Absolutely not. Does it mean you will be changed instantly like you see on so many movies? Possibly. Does it mean you will have a relationship with a loving Father and live with Him in eternity? Yep! We don't have to even change the way we are to come to Him. He just bids us to come!
I feel like I've rambled in many directions on this the first entry to my blog. Hopefully, you found something interesting here and will return often to see other "changes of the heart".
Blessings
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