February is a hard month for me and my family. 8 years ago this week, we lost my Daddy after a 12 year battle with cancer. 6 years ago this week, we lost my mother-in-law after a 3 year battle with brain cancer. And 2 years ago last week we lost my sister-in-law after a year long battle with breast cancer.
As hard as those losses are for me, the sweet memories of those we've lost and the fact that I know they are in no more pain and are with their heavenly Father, seem to ease the pain just a little.
My Daddy was an educated man who worked hard to provide well for his family. Besides my beautiful mother - who he was married to for 49 years - there were four of us kids. Of my three brothers, 2 of them are so much like Daddy that it's a little scarey! My older brother and I are a lot more like our mother. Daddy had a quietness about him but you always knew he was a strong man. Not strong in a physical sense but strong none the less. He taught me to be an independent woman and how to take care of myself because he said "there won't always be a man around to help you." When I found out Daddy was dying and losing his battle with cancer I dreamed I spoke at his funeral. At first I thought it a little absurd, because I knew I could never do that. But a week later, I spoke at his funeral! Yes, I know it was not of my own accord. My husband told me later about everything I said and it was definitely the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I didn't shed a tear that day and that was totally the Holy Spirit's doing. But looking back on that now, I think that was that gentle strength flowing from Daddy to me that enabled me to do that hard thing that day.
I have some wonderful memories of times with Daddy. We camped a lot as I was growing up and I remember Daddy teaching me to swim in Lake Alatoona in Acworth, GA. He also tried to teach me to water ski...notice I said "he tried!" He taught me how to drive and how to walk with my back straight and my head held high. He taught me to have a confidence in myself "because it's a hard world out there and a lot of people won't have that confidence in you!" One of the sweetest things Daddy taught me was what to look for in a husband. I married a man who is a lot like my Daddy in characteristics. Daddy always treated my mother like a Queen and their love for each other was always evident to us kids. Their respect for one another was one of the most important things I learned from watching them. It's wonderful to have that kind of love and respect for one another.
My mother-in law was one of the most precious people in my life. She was one of the sweetest, Godliest women I have ever met. She taught me a lot about sewing, but most of all, she taught me how to be a woman of God. She was a real prayer warrior and when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I found out just how much of a prayer warrior she was. In my seventh month I went into pre-mature labor and ended up making three trips to the hospital. After the third trip, my doctor put me on bed rest until delivery. I asked him how I was supposed to do that with a three year old at home? My blessed mother-in-law is how I did that! Each Sunday night, for three weeks, my husband would move us to my in-law's house and there my sweet mother-in-law would take care of my every need (and that of my three year old daughter). Then, on Friday night, back home we went. Our daughter was born, pre-maturely by 4 weeks and my mother-in-law visited Sarah at Children's almost every day of the 2 weeks she was there.
We used to do ceramics together and Mom found a new love in a craft she had not tried before. She made some beautiful pieces! Some of those pieces are now at my house because she's gone. I have little touches of Vivian all over my home from original oil paintings she sold with my sister-in-law, to craft things she made with the church ladies. Lots and lots of pictures of my girls in dresses she made for them. To say I miss her would be an understatement but I get a part of her every single day because I'm married to her wonderful son who is a great deal like her.
My sister-in-law and I were never very close but we did agree to be civil to each other. She loved my girls so much and loved to have them in her home. I cannot fault her for that! Vicky was in to a lot over the years. She tried a lot of the homeopathic stuff and tried a lot of vegetarian recipes out on us. Some times it turned out pretty funny and some times not so much! I feel like Vicky died way to early of a disease that is so curable these days. I don't agree with the choices she made in the end but they were her choices, not mine. Were I in the same situation, I don't know what my choices would be. I know she loved her son and husband and spent many years home schooling Nathan. He is a brilliant young man and very gifted musically and I know Vicky was very proud of him.
We never know why God chooses to take the ones we love at what we consider an early age but we will always have the memories to hang onto like a warm blanket. Do I miss these people I've talked about in this post? Absolutely! Would I want them back? Knowing what they went through and not knowing if they would still have to go through it...probably not. All three of these people I loved, suffered and not just physically. I would not want any of them to have to suffer again because watching it hurt too much. I will just wrap myself in the warm blanket of those memories and rejoice in the fact that some sweet day we'll see each other again.
