Well, tonight we say good-bye to 2012 and hello to 2013. As I have been in a reflective mood all day today, I thought I would share some of the memories of this past year. Some good and some not so much!
In January, we lost my sweet uncle Lamar to ALS. We made a trip to GA for his funeral and some family time with aunts, uncles, and cousins, my Mom and siblings. It was a sad time but the celebration of Uncle Lamar's life and how he became a Christian, was amazing! Thank you God he is in your loving arms now.
In March, our beautiful youngest daughter got a job back in Ohio and moved back home and her husband followed in April. They now live in Grove City, OH and both commute 45 minutes in opposite directions to their jobs. It is wonderful to have all of our chicks in close proximity to us again!
We didn't get much camping in this summer but the trips we did make were relaxing and wonderful. As always, we met new folks and had good conversations and fellowship with them. We found a new state park to visit and hope to go there again this summer of 2013.
In June, my sweet Momma was diagnosed with colon cancer and had surgery for that. I spent a week in GA caring for and loving on her and had a good time visiting with my sister-in-law, Marsha and visited with a cousin from Daddy's side that I don't get to see very often.
In September, we lost my sweet Aunt Maudeen. She has always been like a second mother to me and I loved her dearly. She suffered many falls and with dimentia in the end but, Praise God, she is whole now and not suffering. I still miss her, but know I will see her again some day.
Also in September, my sweetheart and I, along with our dearest friends in the world, celebrated my birthday by walking the United States Air Force 10K. It was grueling as we did not prepare well enough, but we will be better prepared for September 2013 when we do it again! I cannot tell you the energy I had as we rounded the bend and I saw the finish line ahead of me. I wanted to run across it but the spasms in my back prevented that (along with the smarter voice in my head).
In November, we spent Thanksgiving with all 4 of our kids by taking dinner to Grove City. With Sarah in the Ag business and Matthew in retail, it's hard for them to get time off, so we decided we would still all have dinner together and we had a blast. Our beautiful oldest daughter, Courtney and her handsome hubby Caleb rode up with us and I think we all had a great Thanksgiving. The guys kept quoting a line from a movie that Terry and I were not clear on so when I asked what the line was from, they both answered "Tombstone!" Terry and I had never seen the movie and they were all shocked so after a wonderful dinner and ever better desserts, we watched Tombstone. It was pretty good, not one of my favorites though.
In December, we received a surprise visit from my Mom. Who came and spent a little over a week with us. I so wish I could convince her to move back up here, but as they say "you can take the girl out of the south but you can never take the south out of the girl!" I'm thankful she is healthy enough to drive herself up here from GA and that she is still young enough to have (hopefully) many years ahead of her. It was a wonderful visit and I found myself wishing for my entire family to be here with us for Christmas.
We have finished off the year with a visit from our son-in-love's parents from GA over Christmas. They, along with our youngest and her sweet hubby, were here a few days and we enjoyed spending time with them and teaching them all about snow blowers and the proper way to shovel snow! Then, two days after Christmas, we were at Kettering Hospital where my beloved had his gallbladder removed along with hernia repair. He is recouping wonderfully and is anxious to be well enough to return to work in the new year.
Well, there you have it. The year in review as I see it. God has taken me on a very hard personal journey in the last couple of months and I will be traveling it for another couple of months yet. Lot's of visiting my past, dealing with things I buried deep (and would have loved to keep buried) and lots of forgiveness and grace. It is a soul searching journey that I am growing from and hope to help others through in the future. God is at work in my life and I can't wait to see what He brings me to and through in 2013.
Be safe this New Year's Eve and I pray God brings you many rich blessings in the coming year!
Happy New Year!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Big Changes
Big Changes
In February of this year, my sweet hubby and I signed up for the United States Air Force 10K with every intention of training clear up until the day of the race. Yeah! That didn't work out so well. We trained, walked on a treadmill, for several months and were doing well and then ...we stopped. I don't know what possessed us to think we could actually do a 10K without training. That's 6.2 miles people! Anyway, flash forward to two weeks before the race. My sweetie kept asking "are you sure?" "are you sure?" until finally I just said, "look, I'm doing this. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm doing this!" I knew I would be kicking myself in the butt with every step I took for not training better. The point was, it was my 55th birthday and I was going to do something memorable.
The day before the 10K, I went to pick up our packets - bibs, t-shirts, hats, etc - as I was at the counter to pick up, I looked over to the line next to me and there was my best friend's husband picking up their packets! What a great surprise!
September 15, 2012 RACE DAY! The day dawned a little chilly and the parking lot was filling fast. It was dark at 6:15 a.m. when we pulled into the grass field that would be our "parking lot." Cars were lined for at least a half mile ahead of us and I don't even know how long behind. We got out of the truck and started walking as the sun was rising. No one told us you have to walk for a mile before you even start the 10K! Our friends showed up right before the start was called. We saw the B2 fly over and it was amazing! We were humbled by all the wheeled racers. And then we were off!
The first two miles were not so bad. Mile two was the big hill we had been dreading. There were live bands along the race route and water/Gatorade stations along the way as well. We were pulling up the rear after the 3 mile mark. We were on a long walk in what seemed to be a vacant land. Around mile 4, my older brother called to wish me a happy birthday. I was now having back spasms as my constant reminder that I had not trained well, so I sat on a guard rail to talk with him. When we reached the 5 mile mark, our youngest child called and was screaming into the phone how proud she was that we were actually doing this race.
When we reached that corner where we turned and could see all the well wishers and I heard "good job, you're almost there" and "great job Debra", and "keep it up, you're almost to the finish line" I wanted to sob. Those people didn't know me from Adam and yet, here they were cheering me to finish. The greatest cheerleader I had all throughout the 10K was my friend Bev. If she hadn't been there, I don't know that I would have made it as far as I did.
As we turned down the last stretch and I saw that finish line, my heart beat increased and I wanted to run! We were going to finish and finish in under the 4 hour time limit. My hubby and I held hands as we finished together and our friends finished right beside us. It was probably one of the most memorable birthdays I have ever spent!
As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of the pain I went through the rest of that day. Most of which, I probably would not have gone through if I had trained better. I am now on a quest to get healthy and run at least half of that same race next year and finish in 2 hours. I have signed up for the Couch 2 5K training program and will start that on Monday. I know I have it in me to run that race and finish well. I know I have Someone who will be with me every step of the way and I cling to His words from Hebrews:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
In February of this year, my sweet hubby and I signed up for the United States Air Force 10K with every intention of training clear up until the day of the race. Yeah! That didn't work out so well. We trained, walked on a treadmill, for several months and were doing well and then ...we stopped. I don't know what possessed us to think we could actually do a 10K without training. That's 6.2 miles people! Anyway, flash forward to two weeks before the race. My sweetie kept asking "are you sure?" "are you sure?" until finally I just said, "look, I'm doing this. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I'm doing this!" I knew I would be kicking myself in the butt with every step I took for not training better. The point was, it was my 55th birthday and I was going to do something memorable.
The day before the 10K, I went to pick up our packets - bibs, t-shirts, hats, etc - as I was at the counter to pick up, I looked over to the line next to me and there was my best friend's husband picking up their packets! What a great surprise!
September 15, 2012 RACE DAY! The day dawned a little chilly and the parking lot was filling fast. It was dark at 6:15 a.m. when we pulled into the grass field that would be our "parking lot." Cars were lined for at least a half mile ahead of us and I don't even know how long behind. We got out of the truck and started walking as the sun was rising. No one told us you have to walk for a mile before you even start the 10K! Our friends showed up right before the start was called. We saw the B2 fly over and it was amazing! We were humbled by all the wheeled racers. And then we were off!
The first two miles were not so bad. Mile two was the big hill we had been dreading. There were live bands along the race route and water/Gatorade stations along the way as well. We were pulling up the rear after the 3 mile mark. We were on a long walk in what seemed to be a vacant land. Around mile 4, my older brother called to wish me a happy birthday. I was now having back spasms as my constant reminder that I had not trained well, so I sat on a guard rail to talk with him. When we reached the 5 mile mark, our youngest child called and was screaming into the phone how proud she was that we were actually doing this race.
When we reached that corner where we turned and could see all the well wishers and I heard "good job, you're almost there" and "great job Debra", and "keep it up, you're almost to the finish line" I wanted to sob. Those people didn't know me from Adam and yet, here they were cheering me to finish. The greatest cheerleader I had all throughout the 10K was my friend Bev. If she hadn't been there, I don't know that I would have made it as far as I did.
As we turned down the last stretch and I saw that finish line, my heart beat increased and I wanted to run! We were going to finish and finish in under the 4 hour time limit. My hubby and I held hands as we finished together and our friends finished right beside us. It was probably one of the most memorable birthdays I have ever spent!
As I sit here typing this, I am reminded of the pain I went through the rest of that day. Most of which, I probably would not have gone through if I had trained better. I am now on a quest to get healthy and run at least half of that same race next year and finish in 2 hours. I have signed up for the Couch 2 5K training program and will start that on Monday. I know I have it in me to run that race and finish well. I know I have Someone who will be with me every step of the way and I cling to His words from Hebrews:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
Pieces of My Heart
Pieces of My Heart - September 2012
This has been another tough year for my family as far as losing loved ones. In January, we buried my Uncle Lamar who had suffered the last few years with ALS. He was one of the sweetest, most Godly men I have every known. We had a special connection. He was my mom's youngest sibling and they were close also. He was more like an older brother than an uncle. He was always looking out for me when I was single and living in GA. He would stop by my apartment to make sure I was ok and that my car was running alright. Sometimes, he just stopped by to talk. I loved him dearly and will miss him a lot. He leaves behind a wonderful loving wife, Aunt Sandra, and his children Kim (Leslie) Cheek and their 4 kids and Kevin "Bubba" (Charlene) and their daughter. We will see each other again, I know. So for now, we wait for that day of sweet reunion.
Just two short weeks ago, on September 14, the woman who has always been like a second mother to me, Aunt Maudeen, left us. She was my mom's last remaining sibling! I learned so much from this woman. Lot's of cooking stuff. Sewing techniques. Independence. Lot's of things. She was a great woman and I loved her so much.
My heart goes out to my mom, Virginia Hardage, who is another huge example to me. She has lost a sweet brother and sister but more than that, she has lost dear friends. The whole family has been so close for years and now we must wait for that great day when we will all be together again.
I share these thoughts to say that we all have loved ones in our lives who steal little pieces of our hearts. They come into our lives and show us things that no one else could show us. They love us like no one else could and can be completely honest and blunt with us like no one else can. If you have people in your life that have moved into a piece of your heart, don't wait to let them know how you feel about them. Tell them now! You don't know how much time you or they may have. Don't waste it!
Psalm 139:14-16
"I prase you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unforme3d substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet theree ws none of them."
This has been another tough year for my family as far as losing loved ones. In January, we buried my Uncle Lamar who had suffered the last few years with ALS. He was one of the sweetest, most Godly men I have every known. We had a special connection. He was my mom's youngest sibling and they were close also. He was more like an older brother than an uncle. He was always looking out for me when I was single and living in GA. He would stop by my apartment to make sure I was ok and that my car was running alright. Sometimes, he just stopped by to talk. I loved him dearly and will miss him a lot. He leaves behind a wonderful loving wife, Aunt Sandra, and his children Kim (Leslie) Cheek and their 4 kids and Kevin "Bubba" (Charlene) and their daughter. We will see each other again, I know. So for now, we wait for that day of sweet reunion.
Just two short weeks ago, on September 14, the woman who has always been like a second mother to me, Aunt Maudeen, left us. She was my mom's last remaining sibling! I learned so much from this woman. Lot's of cooking stuff. Sewing techniques. Independence. Lot's of things. She was a great woman and I loved her so much.
My heart goes out to my mom, Virginia Hardage, who is another huge example to me. She has lost a sweet brother and sister but more than that, she has lost dear friends. The whole family has been so close for years and now we must wait for that great day when we will all be together again.
I share these thoughts to say that we all have loved ones in our lives who steal little pieces of our hearts. They come into our lives and show us things that no one else could show us. They love us like no one else could and can be completely honest and blunt with us like no one else can. If you have people in your life that have moved into a piece of your heart, don't wait to let them know how you feel about them. Tell them now! You don't know how much time you or they may have. Don't waste it!
Psalm 139:14-16
"I prase you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unforme3d substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet theree ws none of them."
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Memories
February is a hard month for me and my family. 8 years ago this week, we lost my Daddy after a 12 year battle with cancer. 6 years ago this week, we lost my mother-in-law after a 3 year battle with brain cancer. And 2 years ago last week we lost my sister-in-law after a year long battle with breast cancer.
As hard as those losses are for me, the sweet memories of those we've lost and the fact that I know they are in no more pain and are with their heavenly Father, seem to ease the pain just a little.
My Daddy was an educated man who worked hard to provide well for his family. Besides my beautiful mother - who he was married to for 49 years - there were four of us kids. Of my three brothers, 2 of them are so much like Daddy that it's a little scarey! My older brother and I are a lot more like our mother. Daddy had a quietness about him but you always knew he was a strong man. Not strong in a physical sense but strong none the less. He taught me to be an independent woman and how to take care of myself because he said "there won't always be a man around to help you." When I found out Daddy was dying and losing his battle with cancer I dreamed I spoke at his funeral. At first I thought it a little absurd, because I knew I could never do that. But a week later, I spoke at his funeral! Yes, I know it was not of my own accord. My husband told me later about everything I said and it was definitely the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I didn't shed a tear that day and that was totally the Holy Spirit's doing. But looking back on that now, I think that was that gentle strength flowing from Daddy to me that enabled me to do that hard thing that day.
I have some wonderful memories of times with Daddy. We camped a lot as I was growing up and I remember Daddy teaching me to swim in Lake Alatoona in Acworth, GA. He also tried to teach me to water ski...notice I said "he tried!" He taught me how to drive and how to walk with my back straight and my head held high. He taught me to have a confidence in myself "because it's a hard world out there and a lot of people won't have that confidence in you!" One of the sweetest things Daddy taught me was what to look for in a husband. I married a man who is a lot like my Daddy in characteristics. Daddy always treated my mother like a Queen and their love for each other was always evident to us kids. Their respect for one another was one of the most important things I learned from watching them. It's wonderful to have that kind of love and respect for one another.
My mother-in law was one of the most precious people in my life. She was one of the sweetest, Godliest women I have ever met. She taught me a lot about sewing, but most of all, she taught me how to be a woman of God. She was a real prayer warrior and when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I found out just how much of a prayer warrior she was. In my seventh month I went into pre-mature labor and ended up making three trips to the hospital. After the third trip, my doctor put me on bed rest until delivery. I asked him how I was supposed to do that with a three year old at home? My blessed mother-in-law is how I did that! Each Sunday night, for three weeks, my husband would move us to my in-law's house and there my sweet mother-in-law would take care of my every need (and that of my three year old daughter). Then, on Friday night, back home we went. Our daughter was born, pre-maturely by 4 weeks and my mother-in-law visited Sarah at Children's almost every day of the 2 weeks she was there.
We used to do ceramics together and Mom found a new love in a craft she had not tried before. She made some beautiful pieces! Some of those pieces are now at my house because she's gone. I have little touches of Vivian all over my home from original oil paintings she sold with my sister-in-law, to craft things she made with the church ladies. Lots and lots of pictures of my girls in dresses she made for them. To say I miss her would be an understatement but I get a part of her every single day because I'm married to her wonderful son who is a great deal like her.
My sister-in-law and I were never very close but we did agree to be civil to each other. She loved my girls so much and loved to have them in her home. I cannot fault her for that! Vicky was in to a lot over the years. She tried a lot of the homeopathic stuff and tried a lot of vegetarian recipes out on us. Some times it turned out pretty funny and some times not so much! I feel like Vicky died way to early of a disease that is so curable these days. I don't agree with the choices she made in the end but they were her choices, not mine. Were I in the same situation, I don't know what my choices would be. I know she loved her son and husband and spent many years home schooling Nathan. He is a brilliant young man and very gifted musically and I know Vicky was very proud of him.
We never know why God chooses to take the ones we love at what we consider an early age but we will always have the memories to hang onto like a warm blanket. Do I miss these people I've talked about in this post? Absolutely! Would I want them back? Knowing what they went through and not knowing if they would still have to go through it...probably not. All three of these people I loved, suffered and not just physically. I would not want any of them to have to suffer again because watching it hurt too much. I will just wrap myself in the warm blanket of those memories and rejoice in the fact that some sweet day we'll see each other again.
As hard as those losses are for me, the sweet memories of those we've lost and the fact that I know they are in no more pain and are with their heavenly Father, seem to ease the pain just a little.
My Daddy was an educated man who worked hard to provide well for his family. Besides my beautiful mother - who he was married to for 49 years - there were four of us kids. Of my three brothers, 2 of them are so much like Daddy that it's a little scarey! My older brother and I are a lot more like our mother. Daddy had a quietness about him but you always knew he was a strong man. Not strong in a physical sense but strong none the less. He taught me to be an independent woman and how to take care of myself because he said "there won't always be a man around to help you." When I found out Daddy was dying and losing his battle with cancer I dreamed I spoke at his funeral. At first I thought it a little absurd, because I knew I could never do that. But a week later, I spoke at his funeral! Yes, I know it was not of my own accord. My husband told me later about everything I said and it was definitely the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I didn't shed a tear that day and that was totally the Holy Spirit's doing. But looking back on that now, I think that was that gentle strength flowing from Daddy to me that enabled me to do that hard thing that day.
I have some wonderful memories of times with Daddy. We camped a lot as I was growing up and I remember Daddy teaching me to swim in Lake Alatoona in Acworth, GA. He also tried to teach me to water ski...notice I said "he tried!" He taught me how to drive and how to walk with my back straight and my head held high. He taught me to have a confidence in myself "because it's a hard world out there and a lot of people won't have that confidence in you!" One of the sweetest things Daddy taught me was what to look for in a husband. I married a man who is a lot like my Daddy in characteristics. Daddy always treated my mother like a Queen and their love for each other was always evident to us kids. Their respect for one another was one of the most important things I learned from watching them. It's wonderful to have that kind of love and respect for one another.
My mother-in law was one of the most precious people in my life. She was one of the sweetest, Godliest women I have ever met. She taught me a lot about sewing, but most of all, she taught me how to be a woman of God. She was a real prayer warrior and when I was pregnant with our second daughter, I found out just how much of a prayer warrior she was. In my seventh month I went into pre-mature labor and ended up making three trips to the hospital. After the third trip, my doctor put me on bed rest until delivery. I asked him how I was supposed to do that with a three year old at home? My blessed mother-in-law is how I did that! Each Sunday night, for three weeks, my husband would move us to my in-law's house and there my sweet mother-in-law would take care of my every need (and that of my three year old daughter). Then, on Friday night, back home we went. Our daughter was born, pre-maturely by 4 weeks and my mother-in-law visited Sarah at Children's almost every day of the 2 weeks she was there.
We used to do ceramics together and Mom found a new love in a craft she had not tried before. She made some beautiful pieces! Some of those pieces are now at my house because she's gone. I have little touches of Vivian all over my home from original oil paintings she sold with my sister-in-law, to craft things she made with the church ladies. Lots and lots of pictures of my girls in dresses she made for them. To say I miss her would be an understatement but I get a part of her every single day because I'm married to her wonderful son who is a great deal like her.
My sister-in-law and I were never very close but we did agree to be civil to each other. She loved my girls so much and loved to have them in her home. I cannot fault her for that! Vicky was in to a lot over the years. She tried a lot of the homeopathic stuff and tried a lot of vegetarian recipes out on us. Some times it turned out pretty funny and some times not so much! I feel like Vicky died way to early of a disease that is so curable these days. I don't agree with the choices she made in the end but they were her choices, not mine. Were I in the same situation, I don't know what my choices would be. I know she loved her son and husband and spent many years home schooling Nathan. He is a brilliant young man and very gifted musically and I know Vicky was very proud of him.
We never know why God chooses to take the ones we love at what we consider an early age but we will always have the memories to hang onto like a warm blanket. Do I miss these people I've talked about in this post? Absolutely! Would I want them back? Knowing what they went through and not knowing if they would still have to go through it...probably not. All three of these people I loved, suffered and not just physically. I would not want any of them to have to suffer again because watching it hurt too much. I will just wrap myself in the warm blanket of those memories and rejoice in the fact that some sweet day we'll see each other again.
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